#98

 Q: "why you go to school when you already over twenty?"

me: "to improve my life"

Q: "but do you see how your life has changed now? you can't even make $100, then what you are doing now is not to improve your life at all"

me: "i could see some things clearly. it's not about the money after all" 

Q: "... then you will understand when you don't have money for treatment." 

i just lie to you and myself to the things i don't want to admit because i don't want to see myself as a loser. i victimized myself procrastinating to the things i think it should be done long ago. i should finish my school 2 years ago but still, i'm here, being a loser.

#97

i don't have wills to do anything

even to live.

#96

 i keep pushing away my old friends, pushing away everyone

and i might pushing away myself too.

#95

deep down i really miss my old friends
but it's better leaving them without sound.

#94

too much reading can lead you to
another life philosophy of thinking?

currently, my believe system is falling.

it's not about i don't believe in god, i do
but deep down in my heart saying,
religion is not for me.

#93

you know what is the most hurt
trillion words in your heads wanted to go out
but none able to escape.

#92

deep down in my heart keep saying
i'm not belong to this land